eighteen!!!

finally this year is comming to an end! today im finally 18 so to celebrate, im getting my belly button pierced and maybe my first tattoo depending on the cost of the tattoo. can not wait!!! im kinda nervous but excited at the same time. but at least i get more presents today and this weekend. but the thing that sucks is im sick and have been the past two days. i was throwing up yesterday and today my throat hurts really bad. this sucks. but oh well ill get over it. im 18 today!!!! 2 tests today then tomorrow i have one test. thank god im done after this!!! woot woot! but im actually pretty exausted i had homework last night and i was up late. but oh well. not really sure what to say. ill write later. sorry for such a short post!

prom and so on :)

so prom was pretty awesome. my dress was amazing and my date looked great. we danced and had some fun. after prom we went to the hotel and chilled and watched some tv. my dress actually got stuck on me after prom we had to break the zipper to get it off because i would not come off any other way but at least it looked great for one night. but other than that, jeff and i had a rough patch hit this past weekend but we got everything fixed last night. im glad that he can tell that i wanted to work things out with him and wasnt giving up. but other than that im not really sure what all is new. this is the last regular school week for me in high school! next week is some classes and all finals. i can not wait to be done. then i graduate june 4th and im done with high school for good! next week on monday is the first day of registration for my community college. i can not wait to be done! then i get to start out with my career! i still need a part time job to be able to pay for all of this crap. i turn 18 this week and im going to get my belly button peirced i think maybe something else instead but i know im getting at least my first tattoo :D cant wait! well gotta go! talk to you later! byee!!! :D

end of the year!!!!

so not too much has happened since i last posted. but things are going well you could say. im so excited that prom is friday! :D and then next week is the big 18! :D im pretty excited to go out to a club and just go have fun. but i cant wait to finally be able to get out and do stuff that's actually fun. ive been looking for cars so i can finally have my first car! i wanted this car that was about $2700 but for now i only have just over $2000 in a trust. i will probably get more for graduation but it will probably go to a laptop first then to the car. i need a laptop for college first and i want one that has a webcam on it so i can use skype and omegle and what not. omegle has been my new addiction. its basically an anonymos site to chat with people. mostly its just guys jacking off but occassionally there are some nice people on there. but i like messing with people on the text chats cuz you can be anyone you want. i tell the truth for the most part just to see if people are for real. there are some creeps but disconnecting the convo is easy. you meet people from different states and countries even. its pretty cool. but anyways enough of that. i will post pictures from prom up afterwards. and speaking of pictures, i have a website with some of my photography its called KEG Photography. url: http://www.weebly.com/kegphoto and there is just some amatur stuff on there. but i will eventually make a facebook and twitter for it. but i will probably do that later and put some links on here. im not too sure that there has been anything new besides school getting over in two weeks then graduate in three. i really cant wait! well i gotta go do some science! see ya later!

busy busy bee

not much has happened since last time i wrote but i thought i would just stop by and say hey. i have a lot of shit to do before graduation. i still have my career shadow to do and im thinking about just saying screw it and shadowing the resource officer here. i havent remembered to call the office. and i just need to get that done soon! but other than that i have my kiddie lit project to do for friday. we are done and all we need is minor things for the kids. as a senior exit project we had to get into groups and create a children's book for a specific grade. we got kindergarden so we just had to make a story with 3 lessons and rhyming so they find it fun. we also had to create 3 activities for them. one arts and crafts, one writing, and another as a game. well i really need to explain later! ill write later maybe tonight :) see ya! <3

happy again :)

so again with the drama. jeff and i are back together. it was only a week break so not much really changed. i guess im just a little crazy. but anyways everything is back to the way it was for the most part. we are back together and happy again. he spent the weekend with me basically again. he stayed one night though because i didnt want him driving home too late and he had taken his pain killers because his wisdom teeth are growing in sideways. but anyways... prom is just around the corner and im so excited! this weekend im going to see Fast Five with jeff and im like about to jump out of my skin because im so excited! this is just a good ending to my senior year. i cant believe im going to be graduating this year! i have a feeling i will be writing more than i have been because ill be able to be around a computer and i will be able to type more and what not. but im exausted from this weekend with the drama and getting back together with jeff and chasing away the girls who tried to get with him. but oh well. im happy again :) well i will talk to you later!

brief update :)

so i know i said no more boy stories but..... yeah me and jeff broke up. it just wasnt right for us i guess. i wasnt happy anymore. but i do still have a date to prom thank god! haha its actually a really good friend of mine that has liked me for a while but i usually had a boyfriend and one time i was actually single he was dating this other girl. but i guess its alright. hes super sweet! last night he rode his bike 6 1/2 miles just to see me for like 20 minutes. and everynight when he goes to bed he says, "goodnight sweet dreams beautiful" ahh its so cute. but i told him i dont want a relationship just yet so we are really close friends until then. haha. but anyways. today is 4-20... so of course everyone and their brother is higher than a fucking kite today, or at least will be. i hate that stuff. but im not going on my rant about weed just yet. maybe next time when i have more time to talk. but anyways ive just been having a good time. its been a week and im okay with it. its hard getting used to doing nothing again but oh well. well i have more to tell you but i guess its gotta wait. math time. ugh test :/ see you later!

rant, but informational haha

hey so this weekend has been a bit crazy i guess you could say. im not sure if i told you last week that i had gotten suspended for 2 days for my cell phone. of course the one to take it from me was the teacher that i hate the most. we have had problems from the beggining of the school year to even now. he makes me so angry! i have been to "time-out", or in school suspention, iss, so many times i lost count! all because of him. he always is just an ass to me and i dont put up with his shit so i just dont do anything in that class. i know that now i have to actually try because he is one of the factors of me graduating. but ive already said, im starting a petition to get him out of this school. not just for me but for other kids who he treats like that. once im graduated im going to make sure he knows im the one who started it all. but my mom is fully supportive of me doing this. she knows that he picks on me and some other students in the class. when my brother still went to this school we had that one class together and we pretty much raised hell. we both got in trouble in there and i usually got in trouble for sleeping because i just didnt care. i havnt slept in there recently but he also found out id rather be in timeout than in his class. but anyways, he got me suspended and i had to stay home for two days. while i was home i had to clean the house and other chores. tuesday i was going to do all of the outside work because monday was too hot for me to go out. but it rained tuesday so i had it pushed back. i had to pick up the dog poop in the back yard and pull weeds out front and it was annoying. i was supposed to also clean the garage and stuff but i didnt want to haha. so i kinda got away with it for now. but saturday night my parents had friends over for dinner and jeff came too. it was alright i guess. but me and jeff had a talk about things and we both said that we spend too much time together. i was kind of getting sick of him but i didnt want it to be like every other relationship. but we kinda talked and things were okay until my friend met me at this little strip thing that has a bunch of shops and a movie theater and resaraunts and what not, and we used to like eachother earlier durring the summer. he basically screwed me over for this girl that he was with for like 8 months and a week ago they broke up. so we started talking again and then feelings kinda came back. i mean we talked about jeff but there were things that i realized bug me about him that justin doesnt do. and justin goes to my school and he is going to prom and my fear was i wouldnt have anyone to go with if me and jeff break up. but last night jeff reserved a hotel room for $231. oh did i mention its non-refundable? ugh. so i cant just kick him to the curb and i still have feelings for him. but i guess we will see how it all goes.. but on a happier note, i bought my shoes and accessories, except for a bag, for prom! i have these cute silver shoes that go along with my purple dress and i got a tiarra and a necklace, earrings, and a bracelet :D but anyways. homeroom is almost over with. see you later!

PROM!

so i know i said i wouldnt bore you with boys and stuff like that but i got my prom dress a few days ago and it is gorgeous! im so excited for prom! its 6 days before my birthday but my parents gave the okay for me to stay over night at the hotel with jeff! his mom said she would pay for it as long as my mom said it was okay and im surprised she did! but she also knew that her and my step dad did the same thing on their prom night so she said it was okay! :D im soo excited! the next thing on my list is to get my shoes but since me and jeff are the same height im going to be towering over him but i think im going to go with silver heels because im wearing a silver tiara :) im getting my nails done for that night so im sooo excited! i know i keep saying that but im almost done! i have one more quarter left of high school! i cant wait to graduate! and my parents dont know yet but jeff and i are looking for apartments by SCF the school we are both going to be going to next year but itll be his 3rd year there. we found a place that has decent rent and a $500 deposit with a $25 application fee. so as long as we both have a job by then and work a good 20-30 hours a week we could be able to afford it and we would be able to have our own place! im so excited! its only been two months with him but its pretty different because we dont fight and we just can hangout and do whatever its not all about sex and not about stupid stuff like that. but we reallly care about eachother and he makes me happy and my family loves him and his parents love me so its a good relationship. by prom itll be 3 months and after that when im 18 ill tell my mom that he is really 21 and see how that goes. he doesnt drink excessively and i dont drink much but i hope they will be okay with it. Im probably boring you again but i love this guy. i can see a future with him. but anyways i still have to fill out financial aid stuff to get money for college but when i move out i could qualify for more money. but i probably have to get going. we have a homeroom today and i have no idea when its at haha. but ill see you later! byee :) <33

long time no see

its been almost a year since i have been on and posted anything. but i think that im going to change up my posts and cut the crap with the guys. sure i have a boyfriend now but im not gunna bore you with all of these details because its all going pretty well right now. but anywaysss, i moved to florida and that is why i havnt posted really but i moved here at the end of june last year and its not the same part i used to live in. but its not too bad. im now a senior in high school and on my way to college. i got accepted to two community colleges but one of them is back in iowa so im staying here because its loads cheaperr. i do miss iowa and want to go back for some people mainly my dad and my friends. its a lot warmer here and im enjoying it here now. at first i was extremely skeptical about moving here but its not so bad after you make friends and get used to it. but the town im in is still developing so there is not a bunch of things to do but chill in the cold pool or watch tv. i have recently fallen in love with the show Weeds. I am on season 4 and half way through but i have to go to my boyfriends to watch it because he has it all on his computer but his moniter is a flat screen tv. rediculous i know but awesome :) but its about a mom of two who deals pot to support her family after her husband had died of a heart attack and is just a great story line a bunch of twists and its pretty funny at the same time but you'll have to look it up. it comes on showtime but i have no idea when and the newest season is the 6thh and you have to watch it from the start to understand everything. but ill write some more later. time for math class :) byee<3

the new guy.

so alot has changed since i last wrote in. me and spencer broke up. he became way too clingy and i couldnt take it anymore. it turns out that a few days later this chick started to talk to me about him deleting her off of his friends on facebook and i told her i didnt have any control over what he did. and she could have him and i was done. she told me that he had a small d*** and i asked her who toldher that. she said uhm no one? remember?? and i had no idea what she was talking about. she told me that he cheated on me a while back and she thought that he told me. but guess he lied.... i was soo pissed at him. i texted him and told him that it was bull shit and i asked how could he do that to me after i trusted him with everything and i completely trusted him and i didnt know how he could do that. he started crying and asking if he could call and explain but i told him there was no explaining in that, he cheated. he could go fuck himself and have fun with his litttle hoes that i know he had on the side because he told my best friend that he did and was gunna cheat again if we were still together. i couldnt believe it. i was so angry. im not sure if i mentioned cori at all. we have been talking like as friends since spring break, which was like a day after mine and spencer's one month. i knew him back in my freshman year but we never really talked or stayed connected until we found eachother on myspace and then on facebook. i gave him my number and told him to text me. he did. we became pretty good friends but he started liking me more than just a friend. i told him that i had a boyfriend and that if and when me and him broke up he'd have a chance. well after fighting about me being with him and all of that, im with him now. its only been a week but i like him alot. it seems longer than a week because we were basically unofficially dating for a while. hes already told me he loves me and what not but im not gunna say it back yet. not until i mean it. well many of my friends are telling me that he is just a player and hes gunna cheat and i told him that if it happens im gone and not comming back. he swears on his nephew's life that hes not gunna play me. and i believe him. but last night we got into out first little "fight". it was about him smoking weed. i told him i dont care if he does it but if hes high i dont wanna talk to him or be around him. he said that he would stop and i told him idc if he does it but all of that just reminds me of nate and his smoking and drinking that tore us apart. i also told him about when my brother got so drunk he put a knife to my throat and threatened to slit my throat. he told me he would stop because he wanted me to be happy. i hope it doesnt turn out like how it was with nate... well more drama next time :)

new day.

ive talked to spencer about everything and how i know that i wana be with him for a long time. we both decided on promise rings :) we are going to get them for eachother and proove to everyone that we can make it and they can suck it. but there is oneguy that has been talking to me alot and i know he likes me alot and i kinda like him but not enough to leave spencer and the fact that im leaving and i know spencer will be there while im down south helps me know that he is the one that i wanna be with for a long time. i mean we talk like we are going to be together forever and he calls me wifey and i call him hubby and we are married on facebook lol. but i really care about him and last night he was in a bad mood and he flipped on me for no reason and i started crying and i told him that i was mad and he felt really bad and that was really the point i was trying to make to make him feel bad that he was being a douche and now everything is better and cori, the guy that likes me, was comforting me last night and telling me that i shouldnt be treated like that and stuff but yeah. i was supposed to hangout with him and a few people and play basketball but i said that it was my step dads bday, which it is, and i couldnt hangout but i might have been able to if spencer didnt ask to hangout with me :) so spencer is gunna hangout at my house tonight and we are cooking out tonight and stuff so im pretty happy :)

life goes on...

so its been a few months since ive updated everyone, but nate and i broke up, drugs were getting in the way and i dont know why i stayed with him so long. he would choose them over me and i got tired of it. i know i say that im gunna stay with someone for a long time and im not gunna let them go but idk. after nate and i broke up i stared dating tommy who was a football player and baseball player who was really hot. i dated him for about 2 months and there was alot that happened. i gave up something and thought it would last but it didnt. he wasnt treating me right and i was done with it. now im with spencer and we've been dating for a little over a month now. i love him but i found out a while ago that im moving to florida at the end of june. i still wanna try to make it work but im not sure if i can make it work... im so confused about what to do. ive lost half of my friends because apparently they think im a stupid whore and its not like im sleeping around ive only had sex with 2 guys and they were the last one and this one. i dont know what i should do anymore. im in class right now and im about to break out in tears. someone who i was really good friends with decided that he hates me and called me a whore and walked away. on top of that all my mom and dad are arguing about me and my sister moving and i just want it all to end! i cant stop shaking and my palms are all sweaty. i just wanna go hide and never come out. im actually looking foward to moving to get away from all of these people that wont shut their fucking mouths. so many stupid people fucking dont leave me alone and let me live! :'(

And I Don't Care What They Say, I'm Gunna Be With You <3

so alot has happened since i last posted on here. ive been in and out of a few relationships and now im back with nate from the last post. we broke up because he was partying with some friends and he got so drunk that he made out with another chick and he had to get some shit straightened up. when he did he told me that he was done with all that stuff and asked for me back i said yes but it was going to be a little bit before we would actually date because that day i broke up with someone. so then we hung out a few times but i didnt want to wait anymore so we made it official. people have been saying oh how long is going to be this time because i was boy jumping. but now im with nate whether people like it or not, I'M NOT LEAVING HIM :) i kinda wanna punch some people in the face because they wont keep their mouth shut. but oh well in a year and a half im out of here :) things have gotten better at home and im doing better in school and hopefully things even out. i now have a job at subway :) i love eating there and now i get free food when i work :) but anyways im not excited for nate to leave. he goes to afghanistan on sept. 4, 2010. i just hope that he comes home safe and back to me. im falling in love with this kid pretty fast :) but i getta see him later tonight :) so peace for now. :)

i think im fallin for ya :)

Wow so my life has been crazy since i last posted. i have gotten a new boyfriend, which is that one guy i talked about last time. i like him alot and im really falling for him. but there is a slight problem... my parents dont like him.it's because he smokes and he is 18 and he doesnt live with his parents anymore. so i went to his house after school one day and my friend brooklin came with because we were supposed to go to youth group later. but i decided that i didnt really feel like going so we stayed at his house until we had to be home. everything was good until my mom started asking me about youth group. i answered like i had been there but i didnt know that the guy who normally runs the youth group wasnt there and i got caught. my step dad tried telling me that i had to break up with him because they didnt like me dating him and if i didnt break up with him they would call the cops but i told them to go ahead and do it because the cops wont do anything about it because they cant. we arent doing anything illeagal. so i dont know but im still going to stay with him because i like him alot. im thinking that it could turn out to be me falling in love.....

In and Out, Up and Down

Everyone goes through relationships, whether they are intimate or just as friends. I have had many of both. There are many people who actually criticize me for how many inanimate(boyfriend/girlfriend) relationships i have. Really i just have learned to move on fast so it doesn't hurt as bad if i get dumped. i also am the type to give people a chance. i dated this one kid for about 5 days and then 3 days later i started dating someone else. I broke up with him like 4 days later. that was yesterday. i do actually like a guy right now but he's almost 19 and he is in the army and he leaves for Afghanistan in a year. im not too sure what i want to do. in a way, i wanna be single to avoid getting hurt and avoid hurting people but i dont necessarily want to be just going around from guy to guy. everyone is telling me to slow down and not be concerned about guys but i will openly admit i flirt wayy too much to not have a guy that im either dating or having some kind of relationship with. but i dont want to be labeled as a whore. But for some reason i dont stop myself from hanging out with nate, the 19 year old, and i dont know. he wants to hang out with me later today and i want to hang out with him but i dont know if i have the flu or not and if i do i wont be able to hang out with him. but i dont know. so on with the crazy life... :)

Love Story

Yesterday, I saw the one person that I have been through a lot with... Micheal, my ex-boyfriend. We dated about 2 years ago. We dated 3 different times but have had a thing, kind of, the whole time. There were rumors of him cheating on me and lying to me about a lot of things. His best friend, Aaron, was telling me that he cheated on every girl he ever dated and that he has a girlfriend now. Well he decided to show up at our school yesterday because he misses people here and he used to go here but then our freshmen year he got expelled. Every time I see him, all of the feelings that i have and had for him come rushing back to me. I know what happened in the past and I remember all the crap he put me through. But I still have such a strong hate for him, no matter what. I know that I will always love him but I could never be with him again. So I told him at school when I saw him to call me sometime because his friend never tells him for me. Later at night, my phone starts going off, and i hear the ringtone, "Here We Go Again", by Demi Lovato and i knew exactly who it was. That song can describe my relationship with him and it's set to when ever he calls me. So I answered it without thinking really. We talked for about 5 minutes really and he told me that Aaron was lying about a lot of stuff that had to do with Micheal. But he told me that he had to go eat and before he said goodbye he said, "I love you". And out of instinct I said, "love you too", without even thinking. I was almost in shock when I realized what I just said. I am always mixed up with him no matter what happens. And I know that I mean it when I tell him that I love him, but it gives him that hope that we could be together again. But I know deep down that it could never happen because of my fear of getting hurt by him again. He has broken my heart so many times but I don't know why I always go back to him after all he has done to me. But hopefully I'll get set on the path I need to be on.

Not so great life....

Most teenagers have problem with their parents. but i dont think a lot of them have to call the cops because people cant just get along. well tonight i got the chance to expierience that feeling. i was at my dads this weekend and when he took me home i was in an okay mood. im never really that excited to come home to my moms anyways. i needed to have a door handle be put on my door because my mom and my step dad got mad that i was locking the door all of the time. so when my step dad put it on again he put it so it locked from the outside and it was hard in general to open it so i had told my dad what happened because he was still sitting outside with my little sister. he had told me to let them know that if they didnt take it off then he would call child services. well my step dad didnt like hearing that at all, so he marched outside and started yelling at my dad and then my step dad walked towards my dad and was yelling at him. i was getting scared so i ran to my kitchen to get then phonebook and i looked up the cedar rapids police department number and i called them and explained what had happened and who was there and everything. the cops had shown up about 5 min after my dad had left so i wanted to explain to them what happened but my mom of course turned the story around to make it seem like my dad was the bad guy in all of this but really its my step dad that i dont like. he is really controlling of everything i do. im really getting annoyed with it because im always in trouble because im the disrespectful teenager.

Some luck...(at least I hope)

So normally i have been writing about love and relationships, but lately ive been going pretty steady with one guy. we started out not really knowing eachother but we have a lot of mutual friends. he got my number from his friend zach and i just thought he was just being like how he always is, just kinda random. then zach was texting me and told me that he thinks that rowan likes me, which is the guy im going steady with now. at first i didnt really believe him because we didnt really know eachother. but when i asked zach how he knew he just said well im his best friend i think i should know. so i was a little surprised to hear that but i didnt mind getting to know him and seeing what could happen. i had to go to a wedding that weekend so i didnt really hangout with anyone but i did talk to my ex boyfriend tyler, who is friends with rowan. i told him that i heard that rowan liked me and tyler goes oh yeah i know that and i asked him why he didnt tell me and what all rowan said. he goes i dont know and he said that he thought that you were hot and i was lucky that i dated you but he was like goddamn you tyler now i cant date her. so i asked tyler to talk to rowan for me because tyler knows that i wont ever go back to him. so a couple days later on tuesday we had just got back from a 3 day weekend and i didnt feel good so i went home early after 1st hour and i went home to rest. rowan texted me and said that tyler had talked to him and said that rowan and i should date. but we both thought that we needed to get to know eachother better. so we texted some more and later that night rowan asked me to go to homecomming with him and i said yes. i was pretty excited because i have been to homecomming before but this was the first year i actually had a date to go with. so we hungout a few times during the week and i have really started liking him a lot. and we are taking things slow which i think is great because we both have had some bad luck in relationships and i think that this will turn out pretty good. well at least i hope it will.

Some people....

Hahaha so I know this isn’t normally what I talk about on here, but I just had to share this story. I was hanging out in the spot where I normally do during passing time at school and I was standing with my best friend and the guy I like. We were just chatting like we normally do, and my other friend’s brother Trevor saw a kid who he didn’t like I guess. Trevor got up in Ian’s, the kid he didn’t like, face. Trevor was yelling saying, “Oh, I hear that you wanna fight me huh?!” Ian was just like, “Yeah, I do!” so then Trevor threw a punch and there was a little 2 minute fight. It was one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen. But I do have to admit Trevor is a good fighter.

Boys, boys, boys

They will tell you all different things like you are special and that it's only you in their life. But there are those guys that will just play you like you're just a toy in their little toy box. Me, personally, I have been from guy to guy. I have figured out that they are almost all the same no matter what they tell you. Sometimes you will find someone who will treat you right and give you all that you deserve. But once you lose them, they are gone for good. Just be careful who you get involved with, some of them can turn out to be crazy in the head. Wait for the one guy who says you're beautiful, instead of hot or sexy. Wait for the one who loves you for who you really are. They are the keepers. Believe me.