new day.

ive talked to spencer about everything and how i know that i wana be with him for a long time. we both decided on promise rings :) we are going to get them for eachother and proove to everyone that we can make it and they can suck it. but there is oneguy that has been talking to me alot and i know he likes me alot and i kinda like him but not enough to leave spencer and the fact that im leaving and i know spencer will be there while im down south helps me know that he is the one that i wanna be with for a long time. i mean we talk like we are going to be together forever and he calls me wifey and i call him hubby and we are married on facebook lol. but i really care about him and last night he was in a bad mood and he flipped on me for no reason and i started crying and i told him that i was mad and he felt really bad and that was really the point i was trying to make to make him feel bad that he was being a douche and now everything is better and cori, the guy that likes me, was comforting me last night and telling me that i shouldnt be treated like that and stuff but yeah. i was supposed to hangout with him and a few people and play basketball but i said that it was my step dads bday, which it is, and i couldnt hangout but i might have been able to if spencer didnt ask to hangout with me :) so spencer is gunna hangout at my house tonight and we are cooking out tonight and stuff so im pretty happy :)

life goes on...

so its been a few months since ive updated everyone, but nate and i broke up, drugs were getting in the way and i dont know why i stayed with him so long. he would choose them over me and i got tired of it. i know i say that im gunna stay with someone for a long time and im not gunna let them go but idk. after nate and i broke up i stared dating tommy who was a football player and baseball player who was really hot. i dated him for about 2 months and there was alot that happened. i gave up something and thought it would last but it didnt. he wasnt treating me right and i was done with it. now im with spencer and we've been dating for a little over a month now. i love him but i found out a while ago that im moving to florida at the end of june. i still wanna try to make it work but im not sure if i can make it work... im so confused about what to do. ive lost half of my friends because apparently they think im a stupid whore and its not like im sleeping around ive only had sex with 2 guys and they were the last one and this one. i dont know what i should do anymore. im in class right now and im about to break out in tears. someone who i was really good friends with decided that he hates me and called me a whore and walked away. on top of that all my mom and dad are arguing about me and my sister moving and i just want it all to end! i cant stop shaking and my palms are all sweaty. i just wanna go hide and never come out. im actually looking foward to moving to get away from all of these people that wont shut their fucking mouths. so many stupid people fucking dont leave me alone and let me live! :'(

And I Don't Care What They Say, I'm Gunna Be With You <3

so alot has happened since i last posted on here. ive been in and out of a few relationships and now im back with nate from the last post. we broke up because he was partying with some friends and he got so drunk that he made out with another chick and he had to get some shit straightened up. when he did he told me that he was done with all that stuff and asked for me back i said yes but it was going to be a little bit before we would actually date because that day i broke up with someone. so then we hung out a few times but i didnt want to wait anymore so we made it official. people have been saying oh how long is going to be this time because i was boy jumping. but now im with nate whether people like it or not, I'M NOT LEAVING HIM :) i kinda wanna punch some people in the face because they wont keep their mouth shut. but oh well in a year and a half im out of here :) things have gotten better at home and im doing better in school and hopefully things even out. i now have a job at subway :) i love eating there and now i get free food when i work :) but anyways im not excited for nate to leave. he goes to afghanistan on sept. 4, 2010. i just hope that he comes home safe and back to me. im falling in love with this kid pretty fast :) but i getta see him later tonight :) so peace for now. :)

i think im fallin for ya :)

Wow so my life has been crazy since i last posted. i have gotten a new boyfriend, which is that one guy i talked about last time. i like him alot and im really falling for him. but there is a slight problem... my parents dont like him.it's because he smokes and he is 18 and he doesnt live with his parents anymore. so i went to his house after school one day and my friend brooklin came with because we were supposed to go to youth group later. but i decided that i didnt really feel like going so we stayed at his house until we had to be home. everything was good until my mom started asking me about youth group. i answered like i had been there but i didnt know that the guy who normally runs the youth group wasnt there and i got caught. my step dad tried telling me that i had to break up with him because they didnt like me dating him and if i didnt break up with him they would call the cops but i told them to go ahead and do it because the cops wont do anything about it because they cant. we arent doing anything illeagal. so i dont know but im still going to stay with him because i like him alot. im thinking that it could turn out to be me falling in love.....

In and Out, Up and Down

Everyone goes through relationships, whether they are intimate or just as friends. I have had many of both. There are many people who actually criticize me for how many inanimate(boyfriend/girlfriend) relationships i have. Really i just have learned to move on fast so it doesn't hurt as bad if i get dumped. i also am the type to give people a chance. i dated this one kid for about 5 days and then 3 days later i started dating someone else. I broke up with him like 4 days later. that was yesterday. i do actually like a guy right now but he's almost 19 and he is in the army and he leaves for Afghanistan in a year. im not too sure what i want to do. in a way, i wanna be single to avoid getting hurt and avoid hurting people but i dont necessarily want to be just going around from guy to guy. everyone is telling me to slow down and not be concerned about guys but i will openly admit i flirt wayy too much to not have a guy that im either dating or having some kind of relationship with. but i dont want to be labeled as a whore. But for some reason i dont stop myself from hanging out with nate, the 19 year old, and i dont know. he wants to hang out with me later today and i want to hang out with him but i dont know if i have the flu or not and if i do i wont be able to hang out with him. but i dont know. so on with the crazy life... :)

Love Story

Yesterday, I saw the one person that I have been through a lot with... Micheal, my ex-boyfriend. We dated about 2 years ago. We dated 3 different times but have had a thing, kind of, the whole time. There were rumors of him cheating on me and lying to me about a lot of things. His best friend, Aaron, was telling me that he cheated on every girl he ever dated and that he has a girlfriend now. Well he decided to show up at our school yesterday because he misses people here and he used to go here but then our freshmen year he got expelled. Every time I see him, all of the feelings that i have and had for him come rushing back to me. I know what happened in the past and I remember all the crap he put me through. But I still have such a strong hate for him, no matter what. I know that I will always love him but I could never be with him again. So I told him at school when I saw him to call me sometime because his friend never tells him for me. Later at night, my phone starts going off, and i hear the ringtone, "Here We Go Again", by Demi Lovato and i knew exactly who it was. That song can describe my relationship with him and it's set to when ever he calls me. So I answered it without thinking really. We talked for about 5 minutes really and he told me that Aaron was lying about a lot of stuff that had to do with Micheal. But he told me that he had to go eat and before he said goodbye he said, "I love you". And out of instinct I said, "love you too", without even thinking. I was almost in shock when I realized what I just said. I am always mixed up with him no matter what happens. And I know that I mean it when I tell him that I love him, but it gives him that hope that we could be together again. But I know deep down that it could never happen because of my fear of getting hurt by him again. He has broken my heart so many times but I don't know why I always go back to him after all he has done to me. But hopefully I'll get set on the path I need to be on.

Not so great life....

Most teenagers have problem with their parents. but i dont think a lot of them have to call the cops because people cant just get along. well tonight i got the chance to expierience that feeling. i was at my dads this weekend and when he took me home i was in an okay mood. im never really that excited to come home to my moms anyways. i needed to have a door handle be put on my door because my mom and my step dad got mad that i was locking the door all of the time. so when my step dad put it on again he put it so it locked from the outside and it was hard in general to open it so i had told my dad what happened because he was still sitting outside with my little sister. he had told me to let them know that if they didnt take it off then he would call child services. well my step dad didnt like hearing that at all, so he marched outside and started yelling at my dad and then my step dad walked towards my dad and was yelling at him. i was getting scared so i ran to my kitchen to get then phonebook and i looked up the cedar rapids police department number and i called them and explained what had happened and who was there and everything. the cops had shown up about 5 min after my dad had left so i wanted to explain to them what happened but my mom of course turned the story around to make it seem like my dad was the bad guy in all of this but really its my step dad that i dont like. he is really controlling of everything i do. im really getting annoyed with it because im always in trouble because im the disrespectful teenager.