Friday, May 21, 2010

the new guy.

so alot has changed since i last wrote in. me and spencer broke up. he became way too clingy and i couldnt take it anymore. it turns out that a few days later this chick started to talk to me about him deleting her off of his friends on facebook and i told her i didnt have any control over what he did. and she could have him and i was done. she told me that he had a small d*** and i asked her who toldher that. she said uhm no one? remember?? and i had no idea what she was talking about. she told me that he cheated on me a while back and she thought that he told me. but guess he lied.... i was soo pissed at him. i texted him and told him that it was bull shit and i asked how could he do that to me after i trusted him with everything and i completely trusted him and i didnt know how he could do that. he started crying and asking if he could call and explain but i told him there was no explaining in that, he cheated. he could go fuck himself and have fun with his litttle hoes that i know he had on the side because he told my best friend that he did and was gunna cheat again if we were still together. i couldnt believe it. i was so angry. im not sure if i mentioned cori at all. we have been talking like as friends since spring break, which was like a day after mine and spencer's one month. i knew him back in my freshman year but we never really talked or stayed connected until we found eachother on myspace and then on facebook. i gave him my number and told him to text me. he did. we became pretty good friends but he started liking me more than just a friend. i told him that i had a boyfriend and that if and when me and him broke up he'd have a chance. well after fighting about me being with him and all of that, im with him now. its only been a week but i like him alot. it seems longer than a week because we were basically unofficially dating for a while. hes already told me he loves me and what not but im not gunna say it back yet. not until i mean it. well many of my friends are telling me that he is just a player and hes gunna cheat and i told him that if it happens im gone and not comming back. he swears on his nephew's life that hes not gunna play me. and i believe him. but last night we got into out first little "fight". it was about him smoking weed. i told him i dont care if he does it but if hes high i dont wanna talk to him or be around him. he said that he would stop and i told him idc if he does it but all of that just reminds me of nate and his smoking and drinking that tore us apart. i also told him about when my brother got so drunk he put a knife to my throat and threatened to slit my throat. he told me he would stop because he wanted me to be happy. i hope it doesnt turn out like how it was with nate... well more drama next time :)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

new day.

ive talked to spencer about everything and how i know that i wana be with him for a long time. we both decided on promise rings :) we are going to get them for eachother and proove to everyone that we can make it and they can suck it. but there is oneguy that has been talking to me alot and i know he likes me alot and i kinda like him but not enough to leave spencer and the fact that im leaving and i know spencer will be there while im down south helps me know that he is the one that i wanna be with for a long time. i mean we talk like we are going to be together forever and he calls me wifey and i call him hubby and we are married on facebook lol. but i really care about him and last night he was in a bad mood and he flipped on me for no reason and i started crying and i told him that i was mad and he felt really bad and that was really the point i was trying to make to make him feel bad that he was being a douche and now everything is better and cori, the guy that likes me, was comforting me last night and telling me that i shouldnt be treated like that and stuff but yeah. i was supposed to hangout with him and a few people and play basketball but i said that it was my step dads bday, which it is, and i couldnt hangout but i might have been able to if spencer didnt ask to hangout with me :) so spencer is gunna hangout at my house tonight and we are cooking out tonight and stuff so im pretty happy :)

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

life goes on...

so its been a few months since ive updated everyone, but nate and i broke up, drugs were getting in the way and i dont know why i stayed with him so long. he would choose them over me and i got tired of it. i know i say that im gunna stay with someone for a long time and im not gunna let them go but idk. after nate and i broke up i stared dating tommy who was a football player and baseball player who was really hot. i dated him for about 2 months and there was alot that happened. i gave up something and thought it would last but it didnt. he wasnt treating me right and i was done with it. now im with spencer and we've been dating for a little over a month now. i love him but i found out a while ago that im moving to florida at the end of june. i still wanna try to make it work but im not sure if i can make it work... im so confused about what to do. ive lost half of my friends because apparently they think im a stupid whore and its not like im sleeping around ive only had sex with 2 guys and they were the last one and this one. i dont know what i should do anymore. im in class right now and im about to break out in tears. someone who i was really good friends with decided that he hates me and called me a whore and walked away. on top of that all my mom and dad are arguing about me and my sister moving and i just want it all to end! i cant stop shaking and my palms are all sweaty. i just wanna go hide and never come out. im actually looking foward to moving to get away from all of these people that wont shut their fucking mouths. so many stupid people fucking dont leave me alone and let me live! :'(